How can I overcome my Fears? How do I overcome Fear, Is it Possible?

How can I overcome fear

How do I overcome my fears?

 

What are you afraid of?  Is it Spiders, Snakes, Insects or the dark?  We are all afraid of something, but it is how we deal with this fear that determines our quality of life living with this fear.Tips to overcome your fears once and for all

Many of my clients come to me because they are afraid of life in general especially the future and what it holds for them.  There is a lot of uncertainty in the world to-day and this causes people to be stressed, anxious and overwhelmed.

Some interesting stuff about fears.

Fear about speaking in public is up there depending on what stats you look at, it is in the top 3 of fears.  Unconsciously one of the reasons people have fears about speaking in public comes from school days when we were forced to speak in front of the class and sometimes we were made fun of.  Sometimes we have fears and have no idea where they came from.  I used to be very scared of dying in a fire.  Nobody in my family circle or friends had ever been in a fire and nobody I knew had died in a fire, therefore it was baffling to me why I was afraid of this.  Once I did my training and had to face my fears I overcame the fear of dying in a fire.  Thankfully I no longer obsess over that anymore.

So…..what is it that you are afraid of and how can you overcome your fears?

 

What can you do to overcome your fears?

  • Speak about them
  • Rationalize them
  • Get professional help
  • Meditate
  • Refuse to let them have power over you

Now you are thinking, all very easy for you to say, just wait till I see that next spider, right?

Here is a simple exercise you can do that may help you.

Think of the thing you are most afraid of – take that image and push it as far away from you as you can and let it get smaller and smaller.  Push it all the way to the horizon where it is a tiny spec and let it fall off the edge.  Take a deep breath and then think of the thing you are most afraid of again, is there a difference in how you feel about it now?   Repeat the exercise until you feel different about the fear.

This is just one way you can help get rid of your fears and overcome them.  Another powerful tool is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) which I use every day and teach all of my clients this tool.  Especially kids.

how can I overcome my fears

Night Light

Do you remember when you were a kid and you were afraid of the dark?

Being afraid of the dark is real for you as a child,  do you remember your parents turning the light on and saying there is nothing to be afraid of, turning the light off, shutting the door and leaving you to your fear?   When your child comes to you and says they are afraid of the dark, remember it is real for them.  Empathize with them and validate their emotion, then you can ask them what specifically is it that they are afraid of and talk about that.   Also, there is nothing wrong with having a nite lite in their room no matter how old they are.  As an adult, I had a nite lite when I lived by myself  🙂

Whatever your fear is there is a way to overcome it if you want to.  So if you are afraid of snakes you might not think it is worth it because realistically how often to you come across snakes?

 

Self Talk

The problem is the voice in our heads.  Yes, it is ok that you have a voice in your head and it constantly is reminding you that you are afraid of that thing you hate and fear the most.  There are techniques to dealing with your self-talk.  One of course, is to ignore it, not always easy to do. Try the following and see if it works for you.

  • Turn down the volume
  • Make the voice into a high-pitched squeaky voice
  • Turn the voice into someone’s voice that makes you laughHow do you overcome fear
  • Acknowledge what the voice is saying, thank it and then dismiss it.

Surround yourself with positive images, positive music and repeat positive mantras to yourself all the time.  All of these can help in some way to overcome those fears.  However when you have a phobia then I would suggest seeking out a professional to help you.

Fears are real and can stop us from living a full and healthy life. Overcoming those fears is up to you.  You alone have to make the decision to overcome what it is you are afraid of and live an empowered and fear free life.

Please now share this post for others to benefit.  Comment and let me know how you overcame your fear or how you intend to overcome your fear.


You may also like:

How to Reduce your stress

Living a Life of Balance

How do I deal with Depression


 

                

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32 Comments

  1. Ileana

    I love your site, very supportive as well, and the information is very valuable! i love it. Best wishes!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      thank you I appreciate the feedback.

      Reply
  2. Matts Mom

    I really like this article Helen. I am going try to get my son to incorporate the techniques, but I am especially interested in learning more about the EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). Is this something I can teach my son to do? You see he is OCD, and there are just so many things (a very long list of things) that can get him so agitated. I have tried to find ways to help him deal with these issues. I’m thinking that maybe EFT will help.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      It is an exceptional tool and yes he can certainly use it. You can read more about it here but also please feel free to contact me direct for more information. You will not regret it one bit.

      Reply
  3. Gosia

    I have a “weird” phobia. It’s always a subject that’s a reason to laugh for someone who can’t understand it. I am not exactly sure what the proper terminology is – I know it as Cosmophobia or Uranophobia. Whatever it’s actually called – for me it’s just a fear of space, galaxy etc. I am afraid of the universe… isn’t it funny? Even when I can see a picture of some galaxy I feel sick and I get the goosebumps. I feel uncomfortable and anxious. I have had this fear since I was a little girl. And probably I even know the reason behind it. I know it’s not exactly rational fear but the fact that I rationalize it and explain it to myself doesn’t really help.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Nothing weird about phobias. I would suggest you take a look at EFT which I am sure will help. I have learned with my clients who have phobias of several different ways to overcome them. If you would like some help in this area then please contact me. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Nate Kidd

    Fears can definitely stop us from living a healthy and productive life. I remember when I was a child I was very afraid of the dark. My family just turned off the lights and expected that my fears would go away. They definitely did not show any empathy regarding my fears.

    It was not until later in my late teenage years I was able to overcome this fear. This was done mostly by thinking of other things when I went to bed until one day I was no longer afraid.

    Your techniques here that you mentioned are very powerful. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Glad you overcame your fear of the dark it is a very common fear. Parents do not realize how children can carry fears and insecurities around due to their parenting. It is a very hard job being a parent 🙂

      Reply
  5. Sarah

    Grear article about anxieties and fear with alot of useful information. I would love to share it with others as well, so that everyone can benefit from this.From children to adults and at an old age, we can suffer from anxieties and it is very important to acknowledge it first, so that, we can get our treatment accortdingly. Thank you so much for sharing all this useful information.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I would love you to share it – the more people are empowered then the less scared people will become. Thanks for your comments.

      Reply
  6. Desi @ A Northern Girl

    Rationalizing is so hard because in my mind, my anxieties *are* rational. I struggle with that one daily!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      That is something a lot of people struggle with. Have you thought of speaking to a professional to help you with this?

      Reply
  7. Maurice

    I believe one needs to face their fears head on. Acknowledging you have them is the first step. Then one needs to believe that this is nothing more than a learning experience. A lot of fear stem from those who will not step out of their comfort zone.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Yes you should face your fears but unless you have a tool to deal with the fears then facing them head on evokes the fear. I agree you need to believe but that is what people with fears do not do.

      Reply
  8. Kevon

    Hi Helen,

    This is a brilliant post. Fear is one of those lies we tell ourselves. Just today I attended a lecture where one of the presenters used a very pertinent acronym for fear – False Evidence Appearing Real. And it is so true. Fear is a lie. We often create all these negative stories in our heads about a problem or situation until we cripple ourselves from doing what we need to do or achieving what we need to achieve.

    Fear is perhaps, the number one factor keeping people from their true potential. Your techniques will certainly help a lot of people.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Excellent and very true I have heard that saying before and I am so glad it came at the same time as your lecture. 🙂

      Reply
  9. David Donahue

    I developed anxiety after having meningitis and now get anxious when its too dqark or right when daylight hits. Ironically I used to be an electrician and was the guy who made the lights work. Now I get anxious over doctor visits and bright lights bother me. How weird is that? I try self talk but what works for me is to go fishing. I love fishing and it is a great way to clear the spider webs in the head! Nice post!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Anxiety is not something you want to be living with, I have covered this before in other posts remedies for overcoming anxiety

      Reply
  10. Jim

    Wow. This is very helpful. Not until I married did I realize how many people struggle with fear. My wife is clearly one of them. I’m trying to learn about this because it’s difficult for me to relate. Thank you for writing this. Keep it up.

    Jim

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      You are welcome, finding out what the fear is and then dealing with it and overcoming it is what you need to be looking for.

      Reply
  11. Lawrence Gregory

    Hi there =)

    It clicked for me when I read…

    “Unconsciously one of the reasons people have fears about speaking in public comes from school days when we were forced to speak in front of the class and sometimes we were made fun of” – Thanks for clarifying this for me Helen.

    I love the idea of surrounding yourself with positivity.

    Thanks =)

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Yes it is real. Great of you to be mindful

      Reply
  12. Kenny Lee

    I agree with you that fear of public speaking is common amongst most people. In fact, I heard it has precedent over the fear of death. One way I overcome this fear is to take one step at a time. Sometimes you would just have to ignore all the negative self-talks and take action regardless of failing or success. That works for me.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Ignoring self-talk is a great way to go and when it works for you it is even better. Sometimes self-talk can be so overwhelming for some people and it can take a little practise to achieve changing it to more positive words. Thank yo so much for your input.

      Reply
  13. Becka

    You’re correct about you being the one to chose how to handle your own fears. Just like everything else in your life, you have the power to make the changes you need to make.The only person who can change you , is you. I’ve overcome some very great fears through meditation and empowerment exercises where I had to face the source of my fear. There are many ways to overcome fear, as you said.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I am so glad you have found ways to overcome your fears through natural empowering ways. When you have your own power which you are in control of, fears and anxiety are easier to overcome. Well done.

      Reply
  14. Randy Partin

    I feel that anxiety is the one thing that affects so many more people that anyone thinks. Anxiety causes lack of productivity and loss of self esteem. MD’ should be on the look out for anxiety even when the patient does’t express what they are feeling. It can be debilitating and there are many things available to help decrease or alleviate anxiety and they should be used.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Totally agree,the amount of stress people are under in the world today which is leading to many anxiety and panic attacks. More people need to know the tools that are available to help them.

      Reply
  15. Sarah Prince

    I’ve heard of EFT but haven’t used it much. One technique that I like to do is the STOP method. Have you heard of it?

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      eff is a great tool. Hopefully you will keep trying it.

      Reply
  16. Mallory

    I totally agree that many or at least some of our fears stem from memories and experiences from our childhood. I am studying Child Development right now and I cannot reiterate enough that how we grew up affects SO much about our mindset.
    Interesting exercise you shared, I used to be terrified of zombies although I KNEW they weren’t real, but somewhere in my brain, zombie movies terrified me. This fear was easy to overcome because I didn’t have to actually face my fear unless I chose to or wanted to, haha, but I was able to talk about it and rationalize it like you mentioned. Now, zombie movies thrill me and I can stand to watch them now 🙂

    I consider myself afraid of spiders but not like some people are afraid of their appearance or their scary long legs. I actually really despise them because I have had so many spider bites at the worst possible times, like on my birthdays, on my bum, and it is so unfair. I hate them, but I don’t want to get bit. My behavior around them appears much like I am afraid of them although I just never want o get bitten again!
    Would you consider that a fear or not? I don’t know what to call it.

    Thanks,

    Mallory

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I agree with all you say. Sounds like the spider fear is more like a fear of something spoiling your happy times.So without further knowledge of you I would say not really a fear of spiders. Thanks for your great comments.

      Reply

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