Plan for a baby? What is the cost of having a baby? I do not mean in monetary terms, I mean emotional and physical terms. No matter how old you are it is a very emotional time.
When you are pregnant the hormonal changes, the body image changes and emotional changes are very real and for some people can be very stressful. I do not mean just for the female who is having the child I also mean the father of the child too. When you plan for a baby – there is a lot to consider.
There are so many things to consider:
- Hospital costs
- Time off work
- Baby Products include everything
- New clothes for Mom
- New shoes for Mom (your feet swell up)
When you way up the financial cost of having a baby that in itself is enough to stress anyone. I am not covering the practical or the financial here
I am not covering the practical or the financial here I am covering the emotional effects of bringing a child or children into the world.
Planned or Not Planned that is the question?
So first things first if this is a pleasant surprise that was planned and you are waiting eagerly to start a family then your stress levels might be slightly less than if you did not expect this news at all. Therefore for the happy couple who are about to embark on a new chapter of their lives and once they get over the initial excitement might be thinking:-
- How am I going to be a good parent
- How am I going to support us all
- Is our home going to be big enough
- Will the baby be born ok
- What will I do if the baby is not ok
- What if it is a girl, I really want a boy
- What if it is a boy, I really want a girl
- Will my partner still find me attractive
- Will I have the time to be a partner and parent
- Will he still want me when I have stretch marks
So it goes on the questions, the doubts, the fears. Both Mother and Father to be will have these thoughts and a lot more going on in their head about the cost of having a baby. It does not matter what background you come from you will still have a lot of thoughts and concerns about becoming a parent.
If it is not Planned
If your pregnancy is not planned and you were not expecting your life to take this turn at that moment then there is much more additional stress and anxiety. All of the above applies but before you even get to that point there are other factors to consider.
- What will my parents say
- Shall I keep the baby
- Will the father be around
- Can I do this on my own
- Am I too young for this
- Am I too old for this
- We can’t afford another baby
- Where will we live
- How will I be able to afford the expense
Many more questions depending on your situation and what age you are and if you are in a relationship or not. None the less the stress and your emotional state can be overwhelming. Something which may help.
What can you do about it?
One of the best things to lessen the stress is to make a list. List everything that is on your mind good and bad.
When we make lists then the challenge is looking at us and we can assess easier.
When it is all in our head we go over and over the same things and then add some more things and we go around in circles and become overwhelmed. Once you make the list you can then look at each entry you have written and put a possible solution or solutions next to it. You do not need to work out the ‘HOW’ just write down the possible solutions or outcomes.
Talk things over with someone you trust and mention your concerns, make sure you are discussing the possible solutions and not all the bad things that might happen. Bringing another human being into the world should not be taken lightly as it is a big responsibility. As humans we have been reproducing for centuries, therefore there is nothing you are going through that someone else has not done already.
Make sure you breathe, when we are stressed we tend to breathe faster and shorter. Take deep breaths and release the stress as you exhale. There are a lot of natural remedies you can take to keep you calm and think more clearly. Of course my personal favorite is Emotional Freedom Techniques, if you do not know about EFT I suggest you learn it will come in very handy for the new baby as well.
Planned or not planned the cost of having a baby on our emotions and body are real and should not be left to fester and become a form of anger or resentment which could be misdirected to people we love or perhaps the child.
Stress is real and it is the cause of most diseases in the world to-day so please check your stress levels on a daily basis and do something to reduce the level.
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