Transition – Empty Nesting – Life Changes

Coping with kids going to college

Transition wow that is a word with a big meaning!!!!.

Going through any Transition can be very scary, worrying and stressfull and it can also be very exciting.  Many of my clients come to me because they are going through different life changes and want suggestions and help dealing with that change.

What do I mean by that? Take a look at some of these and see what you think:How to you handle Transition

  • Marriage
  • Children going to College
  • Divorce
  • Death
  • Promotion
  • Demotion
  • New Job
  • Fired
  • Pregnant
  • Birth
  • Moving House
  • Moving Schools
  • Moving Countries/Regions/States
  • Depression
  • Stress/Anxiety
  • Sickness
  • Grief

There are probably a lot more you can come up with but all of these are stages of a transition in your life.  However, what I have found is people do not look at these situations like that.  They tend to add fear, anxiety, stress and all sorts of other negative emotions to what is going on in their lives at that time.

How Can You Handle an Emotional Transition?

Most people when they are going through a change in their lives they look at it with fear and anxiety and always figure out the worst case scenOvercome fears, persist and persevereario.  Therefore your mindset will determine whether you are going through something bad or good.

However, if you look at what you are going through at any given moment as a transition from one place to another, your mindset will look at things differently. Your emotions will change and you will be able to be more objective about your situation.

Easy to say you say, yes I know.  I have dealt with thousands of clients over the years and when you change the way you think about things then things change, which was a quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer who used this in his training.

When we use words like devastating, depression, anxious, scared, I’ll never get over it, these words are BIG word to the brain and the body responds to those words with the appropriate emotion.

Think for a moment about changing the words to a lower level word like, feeling down, challenging, nervous, these words change the way your brain and body react and you are not living in a flight or fight state of mind all the time.  You give your body time to rest and your brain time to evaluate.

Journal or List

Keep a journal of what you are going through. Write down how you are feeling, what emotions are the most troubling.  Write down everything so you get it out of your head and you can then actually read what is going on.  This again changes your perception as you are looking at it from a different place.

Grief is a big transition to get through and I have seen clients that decades later are still in the first stages of grief and have never been able to move on and life a happy, healthy life.  I had the same challenge when my father died after 5 years I was still acting like he had died that day.  It was not a pleasant place to be but I finally took some of my own advice and went to see someone to help me overcome and release what I was holding onto.  This inspired me to write my book on Overcoming Grief.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obviously, there are ways to overcome stress and anxiety which I mention here

Now take a look at what is going on in your life now and what transition are you facing?

Are you going to list down your options, journal your feelings and look at how you can go through this part of your life more positive and happier so you can move onto the next part of your life?

Whatever age you are there will be challenges, there will be disappointments and there will be a loss.  How you deal with it is what is important for your health, wellness and your lifestyle and relationships.

Transition is a wonderful thing if you let it be.


Recommended posts:

How to Manage Anxiety

Emotional Freedom Techniques for stress relief

 


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52 Comments

  1. Danay

    Running really helps me when I have a transition. It helps me get centered and channel any anxiety into a positive. It also evens out my emotions so that I can think more clearly and make calmer decisions.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I feel the same way when I walk, gave up running, being with nature raises my energy vibration.

      Reply
  2. Marian Mitchell

    Encouraging blog! Transition is hard, you can’t be scared of it.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Many people are scared of transition, how you deal with it is how scary or exciting it can be. Some transitions are better than others.

      Reply
  3. Lennae Stubbs

    Wow so true! Thanks for sharing those great tips, I’ll definitely keep them in mind next time I’m about to embrace change.

    Lennae xxx

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Excellent glad you liked the tips on transition.

      Reply
  4. Veronicab008@gmail.com

    These were some helpful tips! Thanks for sharing:)

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      You are welcome.

      Reply
  5. Emily

    I always say I’m going to start journaling but never make the time to. Then I get upset with myself. Sadly, it’s a vicious circle in my life. However, I’m studying to be a health & life coach so slowly I’m starting again.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Journaling is a great way to help with your feelings. Good luck with your study.

      Reply
  6. silvia

    This is such a great article, really helpful tips! I’ve noticed that words do matter a lot for me too, and the way I phrase something in my mind either gives me more confidence or more doubt when it comes to handling an issue. For example, instead of calling something new stressful, I refer to it as challenging, which in turn motivates me to do my best in order to succeed.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Very true, words make a very big difference to our emotional state and how we act and react to any situation. Transition is something we deal with every day and how we deal with it paramount to our well being.

      Reply
  7. Anmaria Djong I Onelazychic

    Been through so much transition in life myself. I must say it is really not easy. I didn’t really journal it at that time. And cause me a lot of depression going through it. A very useful advise and wish I read this when i went through it before.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Glad to help, journaling helps so many people. Not everyone likes to journal but I find if you write things down and get it out of your head is seems to help.

      Reply
  8. michenn

    When it comes to transitions, I think journaling is important. It’s a great way to be able to express yourself and a nice memory for after you’ve gone through the transition and can look back on it.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      It sure is, when re-read what we went through then we know what we should do the next time we are going through something. Also a reminder not to make the same mistakes again.

      Reply
  9. FS Page

    Transitions are difficult. It takes courage to come out of comfort zone and change ourselves or our thinking for better. I love the way you acknowledge how body reacts to words. Thanks for a wonderful insight.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      You are welcome, our bodies do react and if we do not deal with our emotions then the physical turns into all sorts of diseases.

      Reply
  10. Jen

    At times I fear change. Afraid everything turns out the other way but I also know that changes is part of moving on.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Staying positive during change helps the process and changing your mindset that all is for the best and you will get through it.

      Reply
  11. The Travel Ninjas

    You’re so right. The specific words we use to describe things to ourselves make huge difference. There is a lot of interpretations and judgement snuck into what parade as factual statements. It is so important to take it down a notch and use the right words not inflammatory ones even when thinking to ourself.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Agree with you totally, what we say to ourselves about ourselves has such a greater impact than anything anyone else can say to us.

      Reply
  12. neha

    For me a transition is a change that changes quiet a thing inside me. And this happens very often. you have captured all the major transitions in a human life here.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Everyone handles change in different ways and how you personally handle it works for you and I am so pleased you have found something that works for you.

      Reply
  13. jill conyers

    I love so transitions are rarely a challenge. Ask me again in August when my daughter moves away to college. I’ll probably have a different answer.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I am sure you will empty nesting is a big one for many parents, I know when my daughter left is was like a death, letting go is not easy but has to be done.

      Reply
  14. UB Rey

    Now that I am more “aware” / “present” in the here and now, I find that a lot of things can be called transition and we can always learn something from them. When we remember that everything always works out in the end and all we have to do it focus on being the best us and doing the best we can, transitions can even be enjoyable. 🙂

    Thanks for the wonderful post

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      You are so right, being in the moment and enjoying the here and now is so much easier to transition through life and what life has to offer us, thanks for your comments.

      Reply
  15. amber

    We have been through so many transitions together and think it has made our marriage stronger. We have never NOT been in transition as a matter of fact, haha! We have become flexible and resilient!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Best way to look at it and if you can do things together all the better, enjoy the rest of your transitions 🙂

      Reply
  16. Andrea Broom

    I really like this post, I just moved and I didn’t think it would be a big transition but it really is and it was a great post to read and such a big motivation. Thanks!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      You are welcome moving is a big transition in so many ways, how you adapt to all the changes is crucial to your well being and happiness.

      Reply
  17. G&D Blog

    Great post to read. Transition is a easy word to say, but definitely hard to execute. Especially there’s a lot of processes to do.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Agreed, one step at a time and perhaps journaling to help you focus and understand what is going on.

      Reply
  18. GiGi Eats

    I have just gone through, ohhhhhh 10 transitions in my life, and while I am still adjusting a little bit… I am also loving the “new life” I have! I used to be the type that hated change and always freaked out when routine was broken, but now… I embrace change and actually don’t plan much because everything constantly changes in my life!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Love it, transition is part of life and if you can handle it in a positive way then life will be so much happier and healthier.

      Reply
  19. Emily Lynn

    When I’m stressed or anxious I actually do write in a journal about it. Honestly it’s relaxing and always makes me feel better by the time I’m done writing. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I agree Journalling is such a great way to release stress and anxiety, and get your thoughts in order.

      Reply
  20. Patricia @ Grab a Plate

    Great suggestions. I like your idea to bring our descriptive words down a notch. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Yes I have found that it is of great benefit when you watch the words you use. Over the years with my clients I have seen such changes just by doing that.

      Reply
  21. NICHOLE Shirell

    I find that writing down either through poetry or an article helps me. I try to focus on the emotion and find peace to help move me out of darkness.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Totally agree I am so a fan of writing things down and then reading them back a few days later to get things in perspective.

      Reply
  22. Danielle

    Great information regarding transition and change. My hubby and I just moved to Florida all the way from Michigan. Big change but we are managing it well!

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Welcome to Florida, big change from the cold weather up there in Michigan, I am sure your transition will be all the better from the wonderful weather we get here.

      Reply
  23. Kimberly C.

    Transitions can be challenging, but also bring about lots of good. If you surround yourself with a strong support system and have faith in God, I think you can get through any transitions.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Having a strong support system is always good when going through a transitional life change. Friends and family can be a great asset going through these times.

      Reply
  24. Deepa

    Oh these are some great tips and very useful post. A Transition is not easy. We need help in all the stages you mentioned above.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      I am glad you agree it is not as easy for some as for others.

      Reply
  25. Kurtis Quick

    I do something a little different to deal with those bad feelings of transition. Those are a lot of negative feelings when I am changing. Scared, anxiety, fear, you know those. But, I like to go to the gym and use those negative energies to push myself in there and it clears my mind. After a work-out I lose all the negative and I can focus on changing and my goals more.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Great idea and I have mentioned this as a way to get rid of stress and anxiety is some of my other posts. Thank you for mentioning it,

      Reply
  26. Eric Cantu

    It must just be in our nature to fight against change. I guess we’re all creatures of habit. Sometimes even good changes are pushed back because we fall so deep into our habits. Nice article. I had never though of transition with quite the weight that you show it really has.

    Reply
    1. Helen Vella (Post author)

      Thank you – our nature sometimes comes from our nurture and it depends on the nurturing or the lack of nurturing that gives us our model for change.

      Reply

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